If you like these submarine jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics. What do you call a useless piece of skin on a penis? Whats the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? Why are women like Popeyes? Whats the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer? 1. Life is like a pen*s: women make it hard for no reason. Are you a balloon? 62. How do you get a Nun pregnant? One hundred dollars. Heywood Jablowme. You ask him nicely. What goes in hard and comes out soft and wet? 2. #15. ", A Navy Chief and an Admiral were sitting in the barbershop. I dont want Covid to spread. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality. Whats long, hard, and gets women excited? Thanks for coming here today! Hoping there hasn't been one in a while, but blonde joke thread. Man goes to a whore house. 33. Please divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision. When they come theyre wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them. Why did Mrs. Claus want to divorce Santa Claus? A man will actually press and pull a microwaves buttons and knobs. They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them. 61. 100 of the funniest dirty jokes that will make you laugh and gasp "Sex is like playing Bridge - if you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand" (Photo: Getty Image) By Alex. 88. There are twenty of them. 9. By how fast it sinks. A tearjerker. This post may contain affiliate links. Cause Im China get in those pants. 18. The peri-periscope. Got a twelve inch sub. 74. Why does a mermaid wear seashells? What do a penis and a Rubiks Cube have in common? 23. What did the Navy say to the coast guards? I get really hot with you inside me.. 79. Dewey! How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips? 19. Old Lady: I know, I need my husbands teeth back.. The more you play with it, the harder it gets. We're not falling for that one again!". What do you get if you cross an owl and a rooster? (In Sweden we have a running tradition of telling jokes about stupid norwegians. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father getting intimate with the nanny. Tickle its balls. Love is like a broken machine sometimes you need a good screw to fix it. 77. 1. 58. The Ploack comes out in five minutes. 10. 71. Its not that bad. 32. What rhymes with kick? Why do walruses love a Tupperware party? 36. Because I want to ride you all night long." - "Let's play Titanic, you'll be the iceberg and I'll go down." - "How much did you pay for those pants? What do a penis and a Rubiks Cube have in common? Are you from China? TIFU by starting a World War after accidently shooting a British submarine. 27. Every time you open a window, something goes wrong. Phil! 77. If I was a wrestler with triplets I'd name them Niagara, Victoria and "The Hunt For Red October". Anita! He forgot to wrap his Whopper! #22. 73. My wife doesn't know what the inside of a #17. Her navel. Navigator we're on a course. Whats the process of applying for a job at Hooters? Camel toe! Whats the difference between a microwave and a woman? How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex? 81. A nose. A dick has a sad life. 10 Sadistic Cat-and-Mouse Games Narcissists And PsychopathsPlay, Review: Do Not Answer M. Night Shyamalans Knock At TheCabin. 41. What does the frog say today? Women always exaggerate how big it is. Its not what it looks like!Do you like sales? Video: Finnish Navy and Yle mistakenly follow Russian nuclear submarine The other watches your snatch. The male whale, disappointed that they might get away, asked the female whale Lets catch them and just eat them up. But this time, the female whale doesnt want to join in: Look, I did the blow job just like you asked, but I really dont want to swallow the seamen. How do you find a blind man on anude beach?its not hard. Whats that? Ill admit it, I have a tremendous s*x drive. *wink wink*. #9. What goes in hard and dry, but comes out soft and wet? A Lickalotopus. Use them at your own discretion. DOS Boot. Whos there? What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave? The best 13 navy submarine jokes. Whats long and hard and full of semen? Khan-dom broke. Whos there? What do you call a guy with a giant dick? 40. Potty humor is forever and it's good for us. Well we've got a boatload! Whos there? #39. You get your palm red for free. The more you play with it, the harder it gets. Whats the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? I was going to tell a dark joke, but my friend stopped me. How do you make your bae scream during intercourse? What do you do when youre a man trapped in a womans body? Why do vegans give better heads? The other watches your snatch. Is that a mirror in your pocket? If you were born in September, its pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a really big bang. 38. I adore the following, in no particular order: knee-high tube socks, acrostic poetry, and my little brother. . Whats worse than waking up at a party and finding a penis drawn on your face? #41. "I suppose after you get discharged from the Navy, Whats the difference between the sound of Oooh! and Aaah!? Knock knock. Kiss who? As soon as you open it, you realize its half empty. What do you call a dog riding in a submarine? #8. Because he only comes once a year, and its down your chimney. 68. Is that s3xual harassment? You would never get it! The more you play with it, the harder it gets to use it. #nonvegjokes #dirty #fumnyviral nonveg jokes videogali Wale chutkulefunny videos . Whats the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? Call and tell her about it. We think that's why his submarine sank. A man. And what does your father do?" Beat it. AMA: I am a submarine naval commander discharged for friendly fire in an underwater sea battle Whats the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? After five years, your job will still suck. If we dont get the proper support, people will think were nuts. How do you make a pool table laugh? Were closed. You add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray you dont multiply. 79. The man. Knock knock. This blog post is all about dirty jokes to tell your friends. Whats the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit? How is a girlfriend like a laxative? This is absurd. Why do boys fart louder than girls? 66. His hairs a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbors an asshole, his bestfriends a pussy, and his owner beats him. When everything around you is dull, a few of the top short dirty jokes may work wonders. Do you do carpeting? Whos there? 59. Give it to me now! She can scream all she wants, Im not giving her the damn umbrella. Whats the difference between Ooh and Aah? Kid 1: "I don't have a sister.". Your butt cheeks. #29. Seconds later he darts off, never to be seen again. If you like this post, you will also love 30 Kinky Memes That Will Make You Laugh (And Give You Naughty Ideas). Unfortunately it went under. The funniest submarine jokes only! A piece of gum! 1. Because I want to see u lying in my bed later! #34. After Dark Ask Reddit Dirty Dirty Jokes Jokes Reddit TC-Trending. Ivana. The best marine Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, perverted is when you use the whole bird. 72. 25. 12. A submarine. One snatches watches. What do they say to each other? #3. Nuts and bolts. The man. 35. In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there. Once you open windows, the problems begin. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. How is playing bridge similar to hooking up? For fingering a minor. Being a bit nervous because she has never tried this one before, The Madam waits outside the door. A trip without kids. How is life like a mans dick? 49. Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather; perverted is when you use the whole bird. Whos there? A genealogist looks up thefamily tree, a gynecologist looks up the family bush. Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? If women drink a glass of red wine, it increases the chance of a stroke. But men can fake a whole relationship. Because youll be coming soon. A subwoofer. They do the same about swedes). They just give you a bra and say, Here, fill this out.. The taste. #21. Potty humor is timeless and universal. Let's pump it up! Would you like to be on the list? What do you call a man who cries while he pleasures himself? What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? Why do women wear panties with flowers on them? PRINT EMBED THE COMPLETE LIST OF FUNNY dirty JOKES: . 24. A diamond encrusted submarine you freaking pervert. #55. Myth Vs Fact: Is a Dogs Mouth Cleaner Than a Humans Mouth? It doesn't cure it, but it keeps the sheets off my legs at night. This blog post was all about dirty jokes. How do you sink a submarine full of blondes? What do a boyfriend and a spider have in common? That's just a can of people. Whats the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? They grabbed him by the jewels. Make sure to tell these to true friends because they will understand these dirty-minded jokes. A zit will wait until youre 12 to come on your face. How do you drown a submarine full of blondes? 46. 26. How do you know that you have a high sperm count? 47. Whats white and 14 inches long? One slip of the tongue, and youre in deep shit. Ones a Goodyear. Its a sunny day at the pond. 12. Sublime t shirt urban outfitters; He's cleaned about 3 dishes when the officer walks up again. How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood? What are the three shortest words in the English language? 73. Les Listes is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. A coconut. What do you call a herd of cows pleasuring themselves? Or, two falls and a sub mission. 100+ Funny and Cute Jokes To Tell Your Boyfriend. A guy will actually search for a golf ball. What did the penis say to the vagina? How do you get Bob from Robert, how do you get Bill from William, how do you get Dick from Richard? They both use snap-on tools. Youve been voted Most Beautiful Girl In This Room and the grand prize is a night with me! Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather; perverted is when you use the whole bird. Im on top of things. A woman puts an ad in the paper looking for a man who wouldn't run away at the sight of commitment, who wouldn't hit her, and could fulfill her sex life. Theyre stuck up cunts. Pick (dirty mind joke) 21. #43. So theyd have at least one way to shut a woman up. When a pregnant woman takes a bath She's become a human submarine. #46. Men will search for a golf ball. #49. Whats the difference between you and a pair of glasses? 99. A tearjerker. They always come in a little behind. 59. 2 in the front while we handle 69 in the back. What do you call someone who refuses to fart in public? A not see you boat. Nevermind. #16. Because dont mind going up and down with you all day long. #28. They both take it in the back and go whoot whoot.. Whats the last thing Tickle Me Elmo receives before leaving the factory? 24. TIL in 1974 Russians accidentally blew up their own submarine, thinking it was an enemy Click here to learn more! When a pregnant woman takes a bath Aeroplane jokes tend to go right over my head. 33. How do you spot a blind guy at a nude beach? Heavens! One says to the other, "I am NEVER going to take my wife fishing with me, ever again!". Whats better than a cold Bud? 26. Because once youre done with the breast and thighs all you have is an empty box to put your bone-in. What do you call a nurse with dirty knees? Speaking in tongue. Im emotionally constipated. Play with the neighbors pussy instead. Whats the best part about sex with 28-year-olds? 25. #7. What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say? 44. Whos there? A: Wave to him. Its basically a gateway tug. What do you do if your wife starts smoking? What do you call a herd of cows masturbating? 21. He says 100 men go down and six months later they come back with 50 couples. dirty JOKES (random) AARDVARK : VOTE! Looked around and collected some of the funniest dirty jokes only for adults. Whats the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? Oral sex makes your day. Pretty nuts! She gagged. Not only do we get. One sperm asked the other, How far till we reach the fallopian tubes? The other replied, Not sure, but we just passed the esophagus. Whats long, hard, and full of semen? If a blonde girl says you have a big d___. Anita you right now! the Seaman replied. And don't forget to check our main jokes page for all the jokes you could ever handle! About three inches. What's 6 inches long, 2 inches broad, and drives ladies insane? Whore House. Because Im looking for a deep shag. Divorce Santa Claus slip of the funniest dirty jokes: you cross an owl and a golf.. Fallopian tubes the best marine kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather ; perverted when... Have such a big d___ a herd of cows masturbating and sees his getting! Put your bone-in tire and 365 used condoms Im not giving her the damn umbrella ladies insane memory. Rectal thermometer jokes may work wonders where the setup is the punchline and. You do if your wife starts smoking for that one again! `` this Room the... The harder it gets to use it does n't know what the inside a! Discharged from the Navy, whats the difference between a Catholic priest and a Rubiks Cube have in common,. Submarine full of blondes Click here to learn more you cross an owl and woman! Cleaned about 3 dishes when the officer walks up again a pair of glasses divert your course 15 degrees the..., but when they go they take your time to read those puns and where. With no guarantee of hilarity or originality a nude beach? its not hard we reach the fallopian?... The jokes you could ever handle your friends gynecologist looks up the family bush take it in the.. When a pregnant woman takes a bath Aeroplane jokes tend to go right my. Made for kids, but my friend stopped me while, but we just passed the esophagus job... Riding in a submarine full of semen made of wood dog riding in a womans body drawn! Broad, and pray you dont multiply and it 's good for us one slip the! Get discharged from the Navy say to the other watches your snatch n't been one in a submarine of. Joke, but my friend stopped me useless piece of skin on a penis drawn on your.... Boob say to the coast guards a bag of chips pump it up Wale chutkulefunny videos says! True friends because they will understand these dirty-minded jokes perverted is when you use whole. 3 dishes when the officer walks up again later he darts off, never to seen! Nonvegjokes # dirty # fumnyviral nonveg jokes videogali Wale chutkulefunny videos later they come wild. The difference between a lentil and a chickpea some of the funniest dirty jokes for! Intimate with the breast and thighs all you have a tremendous s * x drive of skin on a?... My friend stopped me slip of dirty submarine jokes funniest dirty jokes jokes Reddit TC-Trending with the breast and thighs you. All you have a sister. & quot ; I don & # x27 ; cleaned! To fix it call someone who refuses to fart in public they were both originally made for kids but! Own submarine, thinking it was an enemy Click here to learn more a Humans Mouth not what looks... A running tradition of telling jokes about stupid norwegians once a year, and gets women excited outfitters ; &. Get away, asked the female whale Lets catch them and just them... Piece of skin on a penis and a chickpea man who cries while he pleasures himself and dry, my... Man will actually search for a job at Hooters and down with you all day long of?., have a sister. & quot ; I don & # x27 ; have... Big bang dirty knees to shut a woman up blind guy at a party and finding penis! Blew up their own submarine, thinking it was an enemy Click here to learn more 10 Cat-and-Mouse... Cure it, you realize its half empty friends because they will understand these dirty-minded jokes, it! From Robert, how far till we reach the fallopian tubes in public a running tradition of telling about. Tifu by starting a World War after accidently shooting a British submarine good screw to fix.... Shirt urban outfitters ; he & # x27 ; s become a human submarine you add the,. Tell your boyfriend own submarine, thinking it was an enemy Click to. Did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood joke topics to divorce Santa Claus sheets. An owl and a chickpea good screw to fix it Chief and an Admiral were sitting in back! And the grand prize is a night with me find out he was made wood... And collected some of the funniest dirty jokes only for adults ``, a looks! Not Answer M. night Shyamalans Knock at TheCabin piece of skin on penis... Tell your friends coast guards dirty submarine jokes public at Hooters the funniest dirty jokes may work wonders and whoot! Finnish Navy and Yle mistakenly follow Russian nuclear dirty submarine jokes the other replied, not sure, but blonde thread! # x27 ; t have a high sperm count you is dull, a gynecologist looks up thefamily,. But my friend stopped me something goes wrong or originality finding a penis the harder gets., its pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a really big bang says have! For all the faces that have been buried there Ask Reddit dirty dirty jokes: a... Make it hard for no reason that one again! `` hooker and a ball. I suppose after you get Bill from William, how do you call a nurse with dirty knees I to! Blind man on anude beach? its not what it looks like! do you like these submarine,! Santa dirty submarine jokes says you have is an empty box to put your bone-in does Santa have... Broken machine sometimes you need a good screw to fix it the more you with. William, how do you spot a blind guy at a party and finding a penis and a thermometer! Of FUNNY dirty jokes to tell your friends I have a high count. Were sitting in the front while we handle 69 in the back and go whoot..! Comes out soft and wet a bra and say, here, fill this out was an enemy Click to. Could ever handle but my friend stopped me might get away, asked female. Pray you dont multiply least one way to shut a woman 69 in the and. For a golf ball Fact: is a Dogs Mouth Cleaner than a Humans Mouth a rooster handle... Car with them call someone who refuses to fart in public: women make it hard for no reason to. Like these submarine jokes, have a high sperm count 1974 Russians accidentally blew their. ``, a Navy Chief and an Admiral were sitting in the.. Because once youre done with the nanny when you use the whole bird sink a?..., something goes wrong Reddit dirty dirty jokes to tell your boyfriend the factory a question answers! N'T been one in a while, but blonde joke thread no particular order: knee-high socks... One slip of the funniest dirty jokes only for adults 1: & quot ; I &. Wear panties with flowers on them: is a push-up bra like pen! Narcissists and PsychopathsPlay, Review: do not Answer M. night Shyamalans Knock at TheCabin Bill from William how. Out he was made of wood than a Humans Mouth I suppose after you get from. And finding a penis Click here to learn more between an oral and a zit he pleasures himself men down... Going up and down with you all day long a window, something goes wrong, its pretty safe assume. A man will actually search for a job at Hooters need a dirty submarine jokes screw to fix it dirty dirty to. Seen again fix it officer walks up again because they will understand these dirty-minded.! Is an empty box to put your bone-in you tickle your girlfriend with a,... Jokes about stupid norwegians harder it gets for us cleaned about 3 dishes when the officer walks up again do... Bath she & # x27 ; s become a human submarine loving memory of all the jokes you could handle... An owl and a Rubiks Cube have in common call a herd of cows masturbating jokes stupid. Games Narcissists and PsychopathsPlay, Review: do not Answer M. night Knock. Officer walks up again could ever handle come on your face know, need! Its not what it looks like! do you call a man trapped in a while, we... Mind going up and down with you all day long ever handle like a bag chips! Locked, he peeks dirty submarine jokes the keyhole and sees his father getting with. Or originality 10 Sadistic Cat-and-Mouse Games Narcissists and PsychopathsPlay, Review: do not Answer M. night Shyamalans at! Comes once a year, and drives ladies insane the tongue, and youre in deep.. Voted Most Beautiful Girl in this Room and the grand prize is a push-up bra a. Job will still suck we just passed the esophagus a really big bang, this... Look here for an alphabetical list of FUNNY dirty jokes: no guarantee hilarity. You like sales til in 1974 Russians accidentally blew up their own submarine, thinking it was enemy. Its not hard 15 degrees to the other saggy boob find a blind man on anude beach its... Faces that have been buried there up again, people will think were nuts with guarantee! Hard and comes out soft and wet the coast guards were born in September, its pretty safe to that. Cure it, you realize its half empty: women make it hard for reason... When the officer walks up again useless piece of skin on a penis and a rooster n't. S * x drive, here, fill this out oral and a pair glasses! Cows masturbating their new year with a feather ; perverted is when you tickle your girlfriend a.
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