Welcome to elephant's ecosystem. We all do things that others may not like or find particularly 'appealing,' but if there are. If it's none of the above, there are tons of other reasons why you might date someone aside from romance or future-minded growth with them. Having the deep respect and appreciation of like-minded people is much more rewarding than earning the fleeting acceptance of the crowd. she asked. "If we're together in March, we should go to Montreal," "If we end up together, we should live in a cabin." You will want to get to the point without following the unwritten social protocol and giving pointless answers to pointless questions such as, How are you? or The weather is nice today, isnt it?. I tell them they dont have to figure out in their heads why they feel that way. There are few crueler forms of emotional torture than unreciprocated love. Perhaps you could say, mediocrity doesnt like instead of no one likes., Thank you this will definitely help me, I am in middle school and why middle schoolers are so rude is beyond me but I think now I understand, they are just trying to seem cool or tough and arent thinking things through which means I fall into the weirdo category and they rise up to the cool person category. I had spent so much time alternately defending my gut/heart intuition about this person and then swinging back to, Why are you being so unreasonably, effing judgy, Grace! They might be better than you at the same job. She is a deep thinking introvert who writes about human behavior and personality, the nature of introversion, the concept of belonging, and social anxiety, hoping to help those who struggle with similar issues as she does. Psychology Today 2023 Sussex Publishers, LLC. The problem is that the show and tell approach is favored not just in schools but in our society in general. Knowing how introverts and extroverts view each other provides an explanation as to why you may not like someone after you first meet them. If you're focusing a ton of energy on helping them get their life together, you might think you're super in love and committed. Without subsequent meetings, the person who has been judged negatively does not have an opportunity to change the mind of the person who judged them. Tell Them The Exact Reasons. Be an adult!. Everything you wrote described me, my thought process, how I feel and my experience like that was amazing to read. I don't know why. However, its true that people tend to underestimate the good qualities of introverts. Maybe my chakras are all out of line, and my aura is just too cluttered, my shoe came untied, the sun was in my eyes, I lost my keys, and I was really missing my momma that day. Speak to an accredited and experienced therapist to help you find ways to like people more and build meaningful relationships. You dont realize that social media is just a veneer on top of real life. Whether it was walking, reading, their careers, or rate of personal growth, they always seemed to be a few paces (or more) behind. According to psychologist Abraham Maslow, feeling love, affection, and belonging is necessary before we can reach the highest levels of consciousness and wisdom. Introverts rarely find themselves in the spotlight because we dont talk for the sake of talking. Everyone just seems so vain to you. And most importantly, introverts can only handle a limited amount of social contact. You are right, there may be countless reasons why people dont like someone because this person is annoying, selfish, jealous, etc. In your eyes, you see everyone making bizarre choices day in and day out. It's a truth I didn't want to admit for a long time, but I've seen it play out with me and my friends again and again: the more you're into it, the less you talk about it. It's not uncommon for people to have unrealistic expectations about others. If you are this kind of person, it can also mean that you have high expectations of others. If you've made it your mission to help make them over, find a job, or get in shape and the impetus and bulk of the effort is coming from you that's a sign that you're not actually happy. But Im here to tell you this: if people dont like you, its not always a bad thing. If someone dislikes you, they may gossip about you to mutual friends or try to hurt you in other ways. It sounds like you have a good sense of what to do, actually: If possible, just disengage. Maybe people dont like you because you are a jerk. I have been a loner for so long even when i am with people in a crowd i still feel alone. Be cautious of this bias, as it will only make work more toxic for you. If you look at the person you're dating at a party and often feel resentful, embarrassed, or even just worried about what they're saying, you're not as into it as you think. For more information regarding how to build and maintain human relationships, refer to The Like Switch. Thus, people may confuse you for being emotionally unavailable and indifferent. This relationship is not right. If you cant get on with people you wont get on. It helped me in a way. 3 Internalizing symptoms are common in people with depression and can include changes in eating habits, fear, loneliness, sadness, and trouble concentrating. Do I Need To Tell Him I Cheated? If you are a blunt person, you wont waste your time on meaningless chitchat, vain pleasantries, or fake compliments. Here is what you can do if you don't like your friends anymore. Plus, even if you do, if that's the place you're starting from, you'll always be finding other things to change. Which I only have 2 of. Copyright 2023 Waylon H. Lewis Enterprises. Some of that was harsh, I know, but if you want to get real with yourself and your feelings, sometimes you need to face blunt truths. They askquestions that are way too personal,and I find myself in a constant, tacit struggle with them to redirect the conversation to something less personal without seeming rude. Why not join the Elephant community, become an Elephriend? It just seems so utterly pointless to you. I am never doing nothing. They ignore you 2. We open our mouth only when we have something meaningful to say. America doesnt appreciate #2 through #6 when you look at how business leaders have defunded education, debase critical thinking skills, going after honest people, and whistleblowers who have integrity, plus America has a long, long, culture of being anti-intellectualism. After all, no one likes to be challenged or feel intellectually inferior. In a healthy relationship, this thought should leave you upset and unsettled, but if you are out of love, you essentially do not care," she explained. What I didn't realize until I was with someone I was fully into, however, is that you don't have to qualify your dreams that way when you're both smitten. Conversational narcissism is rife and social interactions are nothing more than opportunities to stroke each others egos. Sadly, integrity, strong ethics, and conscience seem to be the things of the past. And clearly you appreciate mindfulness with a sense of humor and integrity! To you, this is just another reason to not like them in return. What they think, they say, and sometimes what they say offends others. Extroverts see the pause in the conversation, finish the other persons sentence, and continue the conversation, leaving the introvert frustrated and unheard. This is not to say that introverts are not likable, so dont beat me just yet. But I spent the entire evening silently berating myself for being so unreasonable, judgy and unfair. If you resent them for being "too slow" or pulling you along too fast, that's a warning sign to pay attention to. Rather, you should respect their decision and offer support, an . All Rights Reserved | Contact Us | Advertise | Privacy Policy, 20 Reasons Why You Dont Like People (+ What To Do About It), Speak to an accredited and experienced therapist to help you find ways to like people more and build meaningful relationships. Every time you read, share, comment or heart you help an article improve its Ratingwhich helps Readers see important issues & writers win $$$ from Elephant. You have a low tolerance for behaviors that you deem unacceptable or annoying. Yes, I remember what you said last night. Shy people often like others and long for their . And I know that you see what you're doing to me. If you're wondering it, you probably already have decided they aren't and are just feeling guilty about admitting it. 1. Rejection can be painful, and if you believe that you are not likable to others, you will want to know the reason so that you can fix it. And so you dont make many friends, and you tend to drift apart from those you do make. They don't seem to care much about your health. The moment someone starts bitching to you about a mutual acquaintance, you feel the rage bubbling up inside of you. After all, if they cant like who you really are, why should you like who they really are? But there is also another aspect of being a non-conformist. If you're out with friends and start to dread your partner telling that story, or espousing that opinion, you might not respect their intelligence or humor enough. If someone doesn't like you, they might try to hide their feelings with a forced smile. Keep up with Azelle on Instagram and azelle-lee.com 25,818 Thats all very well but not being liked for 7 decades is not worth any principles and standards. Here's to you and your temper. At least you didn't think so. When the pent-up frustration reaches a certain point, the frustrated introvert may explode with a litany of past transgressions. You just can't see how you could ever like someone who does such idiotic things. Fist bumps will not happen. Many of the warning signs were small and subtle but they were there every time, and if I had felt less guilty about respecting and listening to them, I might have had a bit more fun dating instead of holding onto relationships that I knew, in my gut, weren't working. But I saw something beneath the cracks of his personality that I couldn't . It has taken probably half my life to figure this out. Strong personalities are often intimidating. When their batteries are drained, introverts withdraw into themselves to recharge. 6) Making a new friend. Anita C hit the mail on the head with her closing remark. My Ex Wants To Get Back Together. Similar to the item above, it's a sign you're just not that into them if a certain pair of shoes or jeans they own humiliates you or makes you feel angry at them. It could be that you refuse to conform to other peoples expectations of you. They want to hold your hand, hug you, and kiss you. I did this at the urging of a friend who disagrees with me and tries to convince me that this person is totally trustworthy. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. So it makes sense why people dont like those who are not afraid to speak the plain truth. And you shouldn't compel or resent them for not loving you back. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Grace Cooley is a Certified Hypnotherapist and Registered Psychotherapist in Ft. Collins, CO, USA. 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Or feel intellectually inferior can do if you are this kind of person, you should their... Everything you wrote described me, my thought process, how i feel and experience. A low tolerance for behaviors that you refuse to conform to other peoples of... Conversational narcissism is rife and social interactions are nothing more than opportunities to stroke others! Did this at the same job are n't and are just feeling guilty about admitting it high. Blunt person, you feel the rage bubbling up inside of you already have decided they are n't and just! Is rife and social interactions are nothing more than opportunities to stroke others! When the pent-up frustration reaches a certain point, the frustrated introvert explode. You tend to underestimate the good qualities of introverts for more information regarding how to and..., hug you, they might try to hurt you in other ways already... Kiss you apart from those you do make tell you this: if dont! 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